Sunday, September 20, 2015

Why Is It Difficult To Have The Same Group Of Friends With Your Ex?

I have had my fair share of being in the same circle of friends with my ex. There are times where the people around you would butt in to "try" and "save your relationship" but you already know in your heart that if there is anything worth saving, you've already done all of what you could to make it happen. There are just things that won't be fixed anymore. Or rather, some things that won't be as what you would've wanted it to be. 

Breaking up with your boyfriend / girlfriend is like breaking up with your group of friends too. Your friends even take sides, it doesn't matter who did wrong to who, it just splits in half. Either one of you would feel alone or will even get frustrated with the other friends. This though, maybe just a temporary thing. But you know deep inside that this wasn't what you asked for.

The first few times are difficult especially during the "heat of the breakup" (wherein you just broke up not too long ago) all because when you are in the same group of friends, there will always be teasing. No matter how much you ask them to stop, even if it has passed a year or so already, they never stop and still expects that maybe someday, you and your ex would get back together. If you do plan on moving on, sticking around would be awkward and difficult but don't worry, you'll get over it soon.

The awkward part of this is maybe when the other person has a new love one in their life and sharing about it with the same friends as your ex (or to you) It's almost like they never see or imagine you or your ex being with someone else outside of the circle, that or the fact that they kept comparing the new person that he / she's or you're with from the old one which is also their friend. It isn't awkward because of one person couldn't move on, but the awkwardness just makes itself present around this time.

Probably another thing that would make it awkward is when the other person (the ex) easily gives in to peer pressure. Like most of his actions are what you used to recognize as something he would never do if it were only the two of you, you known him in a deep way that you'd know when it's just being forced out of him and that doesn't make you happy at all.

I believe that if it is peer pressure, or any sort of forced fixing, it wouldn't tie up together too well. It just won't work because of the unwillingness of each other deep inside. It doesn't have any meaning or put in to thought, and one or the other gets hurt in the process rather than making anything better.

Just let the people around you know how you feel, not everyone would understand but you need to do what's best for you and your ex. You need time apart to think and if you do get back together or not, it will be a mutual decision. Remember that whatever happens in a relationship, it is the cause of 2 people and not from everyone around them, and do not punish your friends for something that happened in your relationship. Learn to separate the situation and also your decision. If you do decide on getting back together, make sure that it is what you really want in the long run and not just for a part of your life. If you don't wanna get back together, make sure to compromise too, like try to be comfortable being around each other in a friendly way because you'll be seeing each other a lot from being in the same group of friends.

Sometimes, it just doesn't work out as a Ross & Rachel relationship.


  1. In my case he told our friends to not to talk to me anymore. They're now talking crappy things about me and my ex fully supporting it... :(

    Jessica |

    1. I'm so sorry to hear that. Have you discussed it with your ex recently or told your friends how you felt about the matter? Because it really isn't fair for them to do that.

    2. No. He blocked me. When I left message to our friends they all ignored it. Then one guy told me that they were told to ignore me.

    3. That's awful. I don't really know how the relationship ended but it was suppose to be about both you and your ex and it gets even harder when the friends get involved especially not in a helpful or understanding way.


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