I have my fair share of heartbreaks or enough experience of a terrible goodbye to something that you put so much effort and time into. Some of the people I know go for me on advice with this because for some reason, they think I managed it well enough for me to be who I am today. So these are some tips on helping you get over a break up:
- Allow yourself to feel. . You would tend to have days and nights where you'll find yourself staring at an empty space because you are either reminiscing the good times in your relationship or trying to remember why you actually broke up and then you start kicking yourself because you think you're being pathetic. No you're not, allow yourself to be in the moment for a few minutes as long as you have the time for it. If you get upset about not having wifi, then you are free to get upset about something that meant something to you.
- Don't restrict yourself from listening to sad songs, watching sad movies. Almost everybody says don't do these things and then you end up doing it anyway in your own secret place. Just get it over with and do it. Pretty soon you'll get sick of it or be immune to it that it won't even affect you anymore.
- Don't let yourself get a rebound. I've seen way too much people doing this again and again as if they're playing with monkey bars. Only be in a relationship when you are ready. You can't start a new chapter when you're still trying to continue the old one. If you can't get the past relationship out of your head, it will surely affect your current relationship because then you start comparing. It isn't fair to the other party or to yourself. Don't get me wrong, I've heard some stories that this actually worked for some people, but again, be considerate of the outcome or the person that you are involving in this.
- Look at your bucket list and try out the things that you can do at the moment. Now is the time to have this list put into good use! You are in serious need of enjoyment, you would feel like not doing these things while you're feeling upset, but when you're determined enough, try and do them because at one point in your life, you wanted to experience these new things. Just think, what's there to lose?
- Pamper yourself. Whether it'll be at the salon getting a new haircut or trying out makeup products, buying new clothes or changing up your style is acceptable. There is no better feeling that being able to focus on yourself. It is the perfect time to not be concerned if you would match with someone or if your partner would approve of what you're doing. You don't have to feel guilty anymore for wanting these things as long as you could afford it.
- Be a better person inside and out. I'm sure that there will be times where you would put the blame to yourself. You'd think of reasons why it happened, is it because of something you did or were you not good enough. I think when you reach that stage, you should be more open on being a nicer person even if in all honesty it probably wasn't your fault for the breakup at all. Don't go beating yourself up thinking you're not good enough, just do what you can do that is right in the moment and everything else would go as it is after that. If you have scenarios of the things that you may did something wrong, then learn from it. Just also remember if you wanna be a better person to anyone, learn to think and feel for 2 people and not just for yourself and not just for the other person too.
So those are the things that I think helped me alot when I was going through a rough time being on an emotional roller coaster with my poor heart. I didn't realize all of these things all at the same time. I did have some mistakes that I shouldn't have done while feeling the way I felt but I guess that is what made me slowly learn to how to actually manage it.
Even if you feel like this today, remember that you are still in control darling. Whatever your decision if you want a new and healthy relationship after all of this or not is entirely up to you and nothing's wrong about it. Just don't hurt others to make it even. And ofcourse, don't hurt yourself. There is only so much pain a person could take. Live and be happy and soon all the pain would fade away.
Thanks for reading and until the next blog!