Monday, December 22, 2014

GirlTalk: Secrets & Lies.

Hey everybody! So we are gonna have another "girl" talk. This time its about keeping secrets, white lies, and how do you know if the secret is safe to keep or not? will it spur up some enemies? or will everything just fall into place on how it should be. This is such a hard topic to me for I am guilty about some of it as well, I'm no expert but I think its a good topic to discuss about.

I've recently thought about making this topic because of several reasons. One thing that got me going about it is because of a friend I have. She knows something about someone but she has less proof to support her statements. And some more, she kept joking about knowing something at the other person's face.  I know how she feels that what her guts are saying is true. But, whether its true or not, I can see that she will bring up some nasty drama that I know she didn't sign up for. She's really young but that doesn't mean that when your young, you can just anyhow be too daring. There are limits and I've told her that, but sadly she won't listen.

So lets get started. 1st things 1st. How will you know if this secret is okay to keep or not?

Every truth hurts yes. Trust is always in risk when dealing with this. Whether it was how nasty she looked with that sweater or lying about how thoughtful her gift was to you even if it wasn't. You just know that its a bad lie if the person lying is manipulating other people using that lie, or wants to hurt someone so badly on what they're trying to make other people see. Based on my experience, if its a white lie that is to make someone feel relieved or better then its good. But if it keeps dragging and bring out more lies on the table, then that's really a problem. A solution to this is not to go out and say it without warnings, but try and make the person realize what he's doing, how it will affect people and stuff.

Another thing is, What if you we're the one with the secret?

Well let me ask you something, how bad did you get into the lie? Have you ever lied about something so much that you can't even remember the truth anymore? It's always like that, we tend to believe on what we want to believe but reality comes and we're there stuck and stressed on how can we get away with that simple lie and the next thing you know, you're making up another one. Remember that everytime you lie, its like doing an erasure on your memory. Years from now would you remember if you bought that bracelet or stole it? In your mind you might think you bought it but there will be proof somewhere that you didn't. This doesn't happen to everyone actually, but to some who constantly lies, yes it happens. I have no supporting proof or diagram or scientific explanation on how this happens but based on observation, I could say that it does. I think the solution to this if you have this secret and want to get out of it, then I suggest you do it the right way. By right way I mean prepare to own up on whats about to come, like having the person you lied to yell at you, won't speak to you, be mad, just own up to it. But be sure to know how far you can own up to it. Depending on how much you lied to them, it may take long for them to forgive you but that's just the consequence of disappointing someone who trusted you that much.

I personally had my fair share of lies and I experienced ruining a friendship, having enemies, and I also experienced being lied to, Being lied to was hard to handle. You don't wanna be mad at them but its like every moment that you have with them, you start questioning if what they're saying is true or not. That is an unhealthy relationship when people lost trust with each other. I managed to earn back the trust of other people and they did the same to me. It all just takes time and effort, but if you ask me if I would lie again? Yes. I will lie about small things, but knowing me, I'm quite frank. I either show how I really feel or tell it to them straight. But that just happens when they bring it up. So I guess I'm as guilty as everyone too. I just know I'm doing the right thing if I start owning up to what I did and tell them why I lied and how sorry I am.

So, any other comments about what I posted just write it below. Again I am no expert and would really like to hear other people's side and view to this.  Its an interesting topic that really got me thinking. I don't know if I reached all the good words for it but I only speak what I thought was okay enough for me. I hope you guys had a good read ~

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